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Don’t forget, it’s often the bad girl who gets the guy, the unpredictable one who is intoxicatingly unpredictable with a just hint of darkness — from Angelina Jolie with her vials of blood around her neck, to poet Sylvia Plath who famously bit lover Ted Hughes’s cheek when they first met. How can we be bad — and what do we lose by being so? From our earliest days, our mothers have told us how to be good.

Dating sites for people who are lonely

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While the latest statistics show that 17% of marriages currently result from online dating (a huge increase over the last 10 years), this figure is exponentially higher when one includes the number of people who have created relationships that don't necessarily end up at the altar.

As an increasing number of people -- from teens to seniors -- get comfortable with this mode of interacting, the numerous meet-and-greet sites are serving singles in unprecedented ways.

It’s been ten years since James Leftwich first created No Longer Lonely, a dating website exclusively for people with mental illnesses. No Longer Lonely has chat rooms, forums, and places for people to post their art. I did model it after the major dating sites, but I added certain categories too, like housing options for Section 8 or ‘I live with my parents’ or ‘I live in a halfway house.’ I thought it was important to have a category for ‘Do you own your own transportation? I’ve had very few people that come on there as a joke or prey on the users, at least that I know of. Do you mind saying what you’ve been diagnosed with? After I was hospitalized, I went to a halfway kind of house. It’s kind of like in prison, where the child molesters are this and the rapists are that and the murderers are that. I don’t want to hang out with him.” That was the main thing of the site, to defeat the stigmas. Connect with people that are experiencing the same thing as you.’ I think that’s equally as important as all those other things.

Leftwich spoke with me about the challenges of running the site and about why he believes forming loving relationships should be recommended more frequently than pills. It was one of those things where I looked for something and it didn’t exist. ’ because that can be a big deal among people that are mentally ill. I was diagnosed with what’s called it falls under a schizophrenia spectrum disorder…you’re blessed with both a psychotic disorder and a depressive disorder so it’s one of the more chronic diagnoses. That’s my only hospitalization, but I was there for about two months. By going on the site, you don’t have to worry about disclosing it to anybody. What are your feelings on treating mental illnesses? She didn’t know much about mental illness, but she accepted me.

It always stressed me out and usually the other person would be scared away. " Our site is the only one online that serves the specific niche audience of those with a diagnosed mental illness.

No Longer is different in that everyone on there has a mental illness. By creating this inclusive community our users can rest assured that each user on the site is sensitized to the particular challenges of managing a mental illness.

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A dating site is something that has a critical mass where it’s not very effective until you get a certain amount of people. I didn’t create the categories, it’s just what the major ones are: schizophrenia, schizoaffective, but I may have to remove that as an option. There really aren’t that many categories of mental illness. I hadn’t dated much and was really afraid of disclosing to women. Once you’ve been branded with this illness you feel kind of like a reject, in a way. It was in 2003 that you started thinking about this website. As of today I wouldn’t want a girlfriend that was seriously mentally ill. A lot of people that are bipolar, if they’re high-functioning, they’re not gonna want somebody that’s schizophrenic and cant hold a job and has active delusions and things like that.

Serious or not, we hope that Wolf finds true love soon, and if it happens via Date Brandon Scott Wolf.com, so much the better.

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Most people who have performed this late-night ritual will say that no, it’s not the best way to handle loneliness.

Any sense of hope for connection is wiped out with one, “Hey baby, you’re sexy.” You plummet back to Earth.